


Stormy Skies

by RL_BlackRose



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Caring, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2017-12-29 08:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RL_BlackRose/pseuds/RL_BlackRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi went to the cold because he wanted to be numb. That's how Eren found him. Now they're stranded, and Levi can't seem to get warm, and the storm rages on outside. Eren can cure Levi's body- but what about the rest of him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Freezing

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Hey, guys! This idea really came out of nowhere. Hope you like it, though! Don't forget to comment, if you'd like to- I absolutely LOVE comments, including critique! Enjoy~ ^3^

The patches were heavy and coarse across Levi's still hands. Wings of freedom, already seeming to fade, stretched tiredly over the cloth.

His eyes passed over them, trying to draw out the memories of the people behind them. Though he didn't remember to whom each belonged, he could imagine. There was no need to know precisely. There was no time.

The only way he could tell them apart was by how frayed the edges were, the toll time had taken. Now, there were four new ones. His fingers traced the raised patterns, as their faces danced before his eyes. Four more again, the entire squad. The titan came out of nowhere, lunging at Levi. All four of them jumped.

_Idiots._

They'd jumped for him.

Levi folded over, head dropping low over his knees. Shadow hung over his eyes, like a mass of roiling stormclouds.

They'd jumped for him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"What's the _point?"_ Levi hissed. Angry hands curling into the smooth, polished wood of the desk. "We're not doing anything important. Why send them out to die?"

"We never send them out with the intention that they die, Levi." Erwin said wearily. "Do you think I wanted them to die? You know that this mission was necessary-"

"Necessary?" he scoffed. "Looking for old documents- that's _necessary?"_

"Those old documents have important data about the titans. It could be the key to defeating-"

"If it was the key to defeating the titans, they would have used them when they had the chance."

"Levi, you're not listening. We need every bit of intelligence we can get." Erwin eyed him with a steely determination. Sureness.

 _Stubbornness,_ Levi thought.

"My entire squad died again."

A thick silence spread through the room, leaving a bad taste on Levi's tongue. Or maybe that was just the bitterness of those words.

"I don't believe," Levi said coldly, "In wasting lives."

Erwin turned slightly to the window. "We're not wasting them."

"They died for me."  
"Levi-"

"They didn't die for humanity. They died for me."

"They died for the cause-"

"These are _people,_ Erwin-"

"These are soldiers."

"How can you say that?"

Erwin looked back at him.

"I have to."

"Tch." Levi shook his head, forcing himself to let go of the desk. His nails left crescent-moon marks in the wood. "You're killing them."

"I'm doing this for humanity."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_I'm doing this for humanity._

Hours later, the words still echoed in Levi's head. Bounced off the walls of his mind, over and over, a neverending stream of syllables.

He could see all the dying soldiers, falling from the sky like autumn leaves. Spiraling down to the unyielding ground. They came crashing down in front of his eyes, like so many red raindrops.

 _What's the point of doing it for them, if they all die?_ he thought mutely. He'd held their limp hands, promised them the impossible victory. Promised that they'd helped.

_Have I been lying to them?_

The dry, crumbling walls of his room seemed to close in on him, squeezing the breath from his lungs. Levi dragged himself against the wall.

_What's the point?_

He looked down at his coat, at the dark, rugged tan of its cloth. Since when had it become so cold? Soldiers, working together. Machinery.

A hand drifted up to the crest of the scouts. Would anyone take it if he died?

Levi shuddered a little. _Don't think about it. Don't think, don't think, don't think-_

But once the gates had opened, the flood couldn't stop. _Maybe it would be fine if I died. So I don't end up getting more people killed. If a titan could just bite down, and my blood would spray everywhere-_

And then Levi was on his feet, backing towards the door. It was getting to him. The cold, unfeeling walls. His teeth clenched. There was no warmth in the base. There was fire, but no warmth. Why could he still feel? He needed to go. He needed to be numb- frigid and stiff like the salute they gave every morning, like the glinting steel of blades of his gear, like Erwin-

" _I'm doing this for humanity."_ That's what Erwin had said.

 _What humanity? Is there any left?_ Levi's thoughts were starting to spin. _Am I alone?_

Levi's fumbling hand found the doorknob, and then a rush of air poured across his face as the door opened. He moved through it, down the hallway, boots clicking across the floors of the base. Though he wasn't thinking clearly, a single thought ruled over the rest- he had to get away.

His legs moved automatically, carrying him to the door. Dark, night air swirled around his cloak as he pushed the twin doors open.

He had to get away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Eren heard a creak, followed by the tearing of cloth. He was drenched instantly, water streaming down his face and into his clothes. A sigh slipped from his throat.

His pace slowed, melting from a jog into a walk. Shielding his eyes from the downpour, he lowered the ruined umbrella.

_Crap, I should've known. It was too windy today. What was I thinking?_

The umbrella was ruined, practically torn in half. It had happened before, but Eren never seemed to learn. He hadn't wanted to miss his morning run, after all.

It was something he'd grown accustomed to. At first, it was because he'd wanted to get stronger. Slowly, though, it had turned into something more. It gave him a moment to collect his thoughts. So when he'd looked out the window at the break of dawn and realized it was raining, he'd smiled. He loved rain.

Except for when it was freezing, and running down his back. He could live without that.

Eren shivered, pushing his matted hair back from his eyes. A glance backwards confirmed what he feared; the base was still far away, lost in the distance. A glance upwards confirmed his second fear; the sky was dark with rainclouds, with no end in sight.

 _I'm going to have to buy another umbrella._ he realized. He he felt for money into his pocket, finding a reassuring amount. _There's a small town really close to here, right? If I can make it there, it'll be fine._

A rumble of thunder shook the ground, and a flash of lightning lit the sky. Eren's eyebrows raised. "Whoa." he muttered. "I really should've stayed in today."

It was getting a little hard to see, too. Aside from the sheets of rain, the morning sunlight was blotted out by the clouds. It was as if night had come again.

Eren could see the small town in the distance. Around a mile away, dotted with flickering lights. The thought of a nice, warm fire made him smile. Yeah, a new umbrella sounded good.

He started walking-

But then, just as suddenly, he stopped.

A feeling that he couldn't explain came over him. Tingles of apprehension, crawling up and down his spine. Suddenly, he realized he'd seen something. While his eyes were drifting over the landscape- he'd seen something. Something that didn't quite fit.

He held his hand up to his eyes again, glancing around. He was sure of it now; there'd been something out of place. What was it? What-

_There!_

Because he was on top of a small hill, Eren could see across the landscape. He could see the trees. And at the base of one of those trees, he could see a small, dark mass.

From his position, he couldn't quite make out what it was. He squinted. It definitely wasn't a rock. Wasn't too far away, either.

He started walking.

The rain slammed against his face, forceful gales shoving him back. He fought through them. What a storm! Eren had never seen anything like it. The wind was freezing, too, and he could feel his nose and ears going numb. Despite that, he wasn't worried- if anything happened, he would heal just fine.

His walk sped to a jog, and wind whipped noisily past his ears. And then-

Eren's eyes widened.

Green. A scouting legion cloak. It was someone, not something, and they were sprawled across the soaked ground.

 _Shit!_ His teeth gritted, and his jog turned into a full-out run. The rain stung. _Who is that? How did this happen?_ Renewed urgency sparked adrenaline through his veins. His broken umbrella was torn from his hands by the wind. He didn't look back as it was swept away.

"Hey!" He called. "Can you hear me? Do you need help?"

No answer.

Eren's heart pounded against his ribs.

"HEY!"

No answer. And now he was 100 meters away, then 90, 50, 30, 10-

He fell to his knees, breathlessly crawling to the fallen soldier. "Hey!" Eren grabbed the person's shoulder, pulling them onto to their back. "Are you-"

His heart almost stopped.

A breath pulled into his lungs.

And then-

"Corporal Levi?!"

Levi's eyes were closed, mouth open just a little. His head lolled to the side.

"Levi!"

 _Oh shit, oh shit-_ How long had he been out there? Eren moved him aside. There was already dry mud on his clothes. That meant-

"Shit!" he hissed. He propped Levi up against the tree, shaking him a little. "Levi- Levi, can you hear me? Levi!"

No answer, and Levi's head fell to the side. Eren caught it, lifting it back up-

And gasped. Cold. His skin was freezing cold.

"Oh, God."

Eren grabbed for Levi's hands, finding them icy and limp; He rubbed them between his own, blew warm breath across them. "Hey! Levi, wake up! Are you okay?"

His hands drifted over Levi's mouth, and the breaths were alarmingly shallow and quick. In fact, there was a tinge of blue spreading across his lips...

Worry tightened in his chest- and then his teeth clenched, determined. The town.

"You're going to be okay, Levi, alright?" He took Levi in his arms, slung him across his shoulders. Then he turned, and he was running, and the wind seemed to push him along. "You're going to be okay. You hear me? Come on- just hang on a little longer, you're gonna make it-"


	2. Cold

Eren burst through the door of the inn, breathing heavily. His body sagged forward with the weight of Levi's body.

He stumbled into the main room.

"Oh!" The innkeeper stood instantly, eyes widening in shock. She was a stout, middle-aged woman, maybe close to her sixties, with fading blond hair pulled back. There was a man behind her, who froze in surprise.

"Can… we get… a room?" Eren panted.

The woman strode forward, reaching for Levi.

"Let me just- okay-"

"Ow-" Eren winced-

She spread him over the ground, kneeling beside him on the worn rug. Eren dropped to the ground next to her.

"There. Alright- what happened? Who is he, and where did you find him?"

"I know him- he's my corporal-"

"Where was he?"

"He was next to a tree, in the rain. It looked like he'd been there a while-"

"He's freezing! Was he like this when you found him? Has he woken up?"

"I found him like this, he hasn't opened his eyes-"

The woman turned to her assistant. "Jacob! Heat up some water." She looked back to Eren, pushing a key into his hand. "Room 3. Quickly, get him in some blankets and light a fire. Jacob's going to bring you some hot water, and you pour it over him. Don't submerge him completely, or he could go into shock. Go!"

Eren nodded. His heart was racing as he took the key, lifted Levi back into his arms. Painfully aware of how cold Levi's skin felt against his hands, he stumbled to the room, fumbled with the lock-

Click. The door swung open, and Eren spotted the fireplace. Kneeled slowly next to it, grabbed for the matches, scraped the wood furiously against the small box.

"Come on, come on-!"

Flame flared up before his eyes, a burst of red, and Eren threw the match to the fireplace. The wood went up in a blaze.

Working quickly, Eren ran to one of the beds and ripped the blanket from it. It streamed out behind him as he ran back, and he draped it across Levi's shoulders. 

He sank to his knees, pulling Levi as close to the fire as he dared.

Now that he had time, he could see that it was worse than he thought; Levi's face was pale, so pale, with a clear bluish tinge to his lips. Eren pulled the blanket around him, as tightly as he could.

 _Why was he out there?_ His thoughts were catching up to him, and they didn't make sense. He frowned. _Why would he go out in the middle of a storm? What happened?_

He reached up, carefully cupping Levi's closed face in his hands. Damp, black hair brushed along his fingers. Levi's skin was clammy.

"You're don't usually do strange things." Eren whispered. His eyes were wide with worry. "What happened, Levi? What made you so worked up- that you would run outside in the middle of the night, into the rain-"

In his mind's eye, he could almost see it. Levi throwing open the doors, sprinting from the base, into the freezing wall of the storm. His frown deepened. It didn't make sense. It just _didn't make-_

"I've got the water." Jacob heaved a huge bucket into the room, grunting with the effort. "Anythin' else?"

Eren flew to his feet. "Thank you. Thank you so much-"

"No problem." Jacob closed the door, and Eren ran to the steaming water. With huge effort, straining, pulling, he managed to drag the bucket to the bathroom. Then he went back, carrying Levi and gently lowering him into the tub. He went back one more time, lifting a blazing twig, and lit the candles along the wall.

"Okay. Okay." Eren racked his brains, lowering Levi gently into the tub and kneeling. He was sure he'd learned _something_ about hypothermia in class. Yes- yes! He had. Oh no, wait, that had been one of the days he couldn't sleep. _Crap! Okay. Just do like the lady said-_

Carefully, he slipped off Levi's coat, and undid the straps along his body. Then, he removed Levi's shirt. As he laid the clothing aside, he grabbed a small bucket from the floor behind him.

Lightly, he dipped the bucket into the warm water. Steeling himself against whatever might happen- or what wouldn't happen- he slowly tilted it over Levi's head, letting the water pour from the bucket-

Nothing. Eren's breath caught in his throat.

"Come on, Levi, come on- just _wake up,_ please-" Another bucketful of hot water, which he poured across Levi's neck. Another. Two more, over his chest. "Wake up!"

A real panic was starting to build, and it overflowed, trickling over his voice. "You're not gonna die like this, Levi-"

Lifted another bucketful over Levi's midriff.

"Don't you _dare_ die like this!"

Tilted it. Water lapped at its edge.

"Don't you DARE-!"

The water splashed over his middle-

And Levi's eyes flew open.

Eren gasped, hope filling his lungs. But then-

A horrible, pained cry flew from Levi's lips. His eyes squeezed shut.

_Okay, that's not a good sign._

A little shaken, Eren took another bucketful, and threw it over him with a splash-

"AAH-! Hah- s-stop-"

"I'm sorry!" Eren said, and then he dipped it again and brought it over-

Levi's hand shot up, grabbing him by the wrist.

"I said _stop_." he hissed furiously.

There was something else in his face, though, something like panic, and a bleariness- a cloudy look- that made Eren resolute to keep going.

He forced the hand aside, pinning both of Levi's. above his head with one of his own. A mute, furious terror seeped into Levi's face.

"I'm sorry, corporal." Eren said quietly, voice a little shaky. He didn't slow down. He couldn't slow down, as he refilled the bucket. "I know it hurts. But it'll be over soon, I promise. Okay? You're gonna be okay."

"No-"

"I'm sorry."  
  
"No- don't you DARE, Eren!" His eyes burned. "Eren! You-"

The water fell.

Levi twisted in agony, sucking in a shuddering breath. The water was like fire against his frozen skin.

It came again, and again, and Eren had to watch as the corporal's movements grew weaker and weaker, as his eyes slowly lost focus.  
  
Eventually, Levi slipped into unconsciousness. When it happened, Eren let his arm drop, let his heartbeat slow.

He lifted Levi up again, cradling him carefully in his arms as he carried him to his bed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The innkeeper stopped by in the early afternoon, to deliver the bad news; due to the rain- which still continued, streaming down the window- the roads were flooded with muddy water. There was no way for a doctor to come through, and none in town.

"However, if everything goes well," she added, "I think he should recover just fine."  
  
"If everything goes well?"  
  
"Of course, as with anything, there can be complications. You know how it is- everything carries risks."

Eren looked over at Levi's sleeping form. His lashes were unmoving against his cheeks, and his breathing was quick. Too quick.

"Risks?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was well into the afternoon when Levi opened his eyes.

Eren was curled up in his chair, reading a book he'd found in one of the drawers. Then, out of the corner of his eye- movement?

"Levi?" He put the book down, moving swiftly to his bedside. "Hey- Levi?"

At first, Levi looked a little confused. His brow furrowed, and he tried to sit up-

But then his arms shook, and Eren caught him as he fell.

"Whoa. Careful." Eren eased him back onto the bed. "You're still…" He frowned, reaching out. Levi eyed him warily, inching away from his hand-

And Eren simply laid it across his forehead. Levi shivered at the touch.

_Shivered?_

The skin was burning.

_Risks._

Slowly, Eren lowered his hand.

"Hey, Levi?"

Levi's eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Why were you outside in the rain?"

His eyes avoided Eren's moving to the ceiling. Hollow voice. "I was walking."

"Walking?!"

"Don't act so surprised. Like you've never gone for a walk before."

"At night? In the middle of a _storm?"_

"Tch."

"Are you going to tell me?"

Levi didn't answer. Instead, he changed the subject.

"What is this place?"

"We were too far away from the base. This is Ziegler, a few miles away-"

"Then we have to get back to the base."

"What-?"

Levi started sitting up again, face set in determination. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not! You're going to-"

"I said, I'm f-" A pained breath, and he folded a little. "-nghh."

"Are you okay-?"

"Yes. Are you even listening? I'm-"

"No." Eren shook his head. "You're not fine. Stop moving, you'll make it worse-"

Unperturbed, Levi continued against the pain. His mouth twisted. "We have to-"

"Stop!" Standing up, Eren leaned over. Pushed him back against the sheets.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing? Let go of me this _instant-"_

"You aren't well!"

Levi fought against him. "Let _go-"_

"I'm- I'm going to have to tie you down if you keep doing that!" _Ohhh no. He's going to be furious._ "I'll- I'll do it, I swear!"

He was right. Levi _was_ furious. "How can you talk to me like that?" Rage glinted in his eyes. "I'm not your _dog_. Let go this instant- that's an order."

"I'll tie you down, Levi. I'll do it."

"Try. I'll kick your ass across this town."

Eren sighed, crouching to the ground. When he got up, he had the ends of two chains in his hands.

"This inn used to be a jail, you know."

Before Levi could react, both of his arms were behind him.

"Eren, this is your last warning." he hissed, twisting. "Let me get up, or I'll-"

Ignoring him, Eren snapped a cuff around one of his wrists. Levi gritted his teeth, kicking himself around and lunging-

But Eren pushed him back, and Levi found himself light-headed. The movement had been too much, and now he collapsed back into the sheets. He could only watch, livid, as Eren he closed the remaining cuff around his other wrist. As he hung the key around his neck, next to the other one.

"Get these off. Hey! Are you listening?" Levi shouted. "Get these damn things off-"

"Shh-"

"You _brat!"_ Levi's breaths were getting uneven, and his chest rose and fell in sharp, desperate jerks. "Get these off-"

"Don't work yourself up, you're making it worse." Eren said. "You're going to end up killing yourself!"

Levi's voice dropped to a growl. "I'm going to _kill_ you-"

"Shhh." _Why isn't he calming down?!_ "Sh-shhh."

Eren laid his hand on Levi's forehead.

Levi froze under the gentle touch, growing rigid.

"It's okay." Eren said gently. "It's going to be okay."

Levi's breaths slowed, and Eren felt something come over him. Almost instinct. Levi was just so vulnerable, small and fragile in that moment. His commander. He'd saved Eren's life countless times, and Eren had considered him strong. Stoic and set as a rock.

But now, he was softening under Eren's hand.

But now, something had made him run into the rain.

What was it?

What had made him so scared?

He didn't want Levi to be scared. He wanted- to protect him.

"It's okay. You don't have to be afraid." Eren heard himself say. His hand smoothed Levi's hair back, then eased down, cupping his warm cheek. Levi stared mutely.

His palm rose up again, then, and he stroked Levi's forehead, fingers running delicately down his pale face. "It's okay. You're going to be okay."

Levi's eyes were conflicted. There was confusion, anger- and something else, something growing. A softness.

Eren's hand weaved lazy circles into Levi's hair. Slowly, Levi's head lowered into Eren's palm. Soon his eyelids were fluttering, and his shoulders were softening.

Once his breathing had slowed, Eren pulled his hand away.

 _He's… he's cute._ He realized, as he pulled the covers tightly over Levi's sleeping form. _Yeah. He's pretty cute when he's not spouting death threats. Even some of the death threats are cute too, though._ Surprised at himself, he pulled a face. _What am I even thinking?_

But worry still nagged at his mind, because the fever raged on, like the rain against the window.


	3. Tepid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh- I'm sorry it took so long to update!! School sort of grabbed me.  
> But don't worry- it's winter vacation now, and I'll be able to update consistently! Maybe even- (gasp!) daily updates?  
> If you don't even remember subscribing to this, you might want to reread the first two chapters- I don't think they're that long, and it's really been a while! ;A;  
> Sorry for the wait- hope you enjoy! ^3^

Eren was sitting, reading a book, when he saw Levi start to stir.

It was still drizzling outside, but dark now, and somber gray clouds coated the sky. The one window in the room was splashed with plump raindrops. Sounds of trees against the inn walls, scraping and rustling against the bricks, continued softly under the sound of the rain.

Standing, Eren put his book aside. Its pages rustled, settling onto the table, as he walked across the room.

Levi was spread across the bed, with a blanket draped over his lower body. His head turned a little on his pillow, rubbing softly against his tousled hair.  
  
Just slightly, Eren leaned over his bedside. He watched Levi's pale blue-grey eyes open, slowly, spreading the shadow of his lashes along the curve of his cheek.

"Hey, Levi." he said gently. "How're you feeling?"

"You're a piece of shit." Levi replied.

A half-smile twisted across Eren's face. "Glad to see you're feeling better."

Ignoring the glare that followed, he walked towards the side, taking something from a nearby table.

Levi sat up straight. Hearing the sound of chains, he looked down. Frowned.

"I got you some food." Eren walked back over, carrying a small tray with him. "You're lucky you woke up just now- it's still hot."

"Unchain me."

Eren sighed. "Levi-"

"That's an order."

"I-I'm trying to help you! You're still sick-"  
  
"I can take a carriage."  
  
"All the roads out of here are blocked because of the storm."  
  
"I don't care."  
  
Eren was getting annoyed. "Why do you want to go back to the base so bad? Because the way it looked, you were trying to get away from the base-"

He regretted the words instantly. Anger flashed in Levi's eyes.

"Say that again." He hissed.

"I-"

"I said, _say that again-"_

"I'm sorry. Okay?" Eren sat on the side of the bed. "I won't ask."

Levi's face slid back into neutrality. Eren felt his heart sink a little. For some reason, he almost wished he would've stayed angry.

There was silence for a few seconds. Eren broked it, leaning forward and setting the tray on Levi's lap. "Here. It's some from the inn. It's not bad. It's actually pretty good, I think."

Levi stared disgustedly, upper lip curling. "What is this."

"Uh- I think it's a potato thing!" Eren shrugged. "It wasn't bad."

Eyeing it suspiciously, Levi picked up a fork and tentatively stabbed it into the strange dish. But when he lifted it, his hand was shaking, and the fork clattered to the tray.

"Shit."

He tried again, this time managing to lift the fork. Yet again, though, halfway through the air-

"Crap."

"Corporal-"

"What do you want?" His voice was taut, daring him.

"I- I can help you. If you want."

Bitter shame seeped into Levi's eyes. "I don't need your help."  
  
"It's okay."

No answer. Levi looked down.

"Come on. It's fine!" Eren took the fork, lifting it again. "It's fine. Say ahhh."

A scowl. "Don't treat me like a child-"

"Can you at least open your mouth?"

Reluctantly, Levi parted his lips. Eren gently inched the fork forward, giving Levi a chance to close his mouth around it.

As he withdrew the fork, he felt something strange stir inside him. He watched the familiar way Levi chewed; mouth closed, discreetly. He watched the subtle movement of Levi's small, full lips- heard the soft sound of his swallow-

-and suddenly, he realized Levi was giving him a strange look. No, it was more than a strange look. His face was sort of red-?

 _Crap._ Eren realized. _I must've been staring-_

_Okay. Just pretend nothing happened-_

Quickly, he reloaded the fork, bringing it up again. Levi didn't open his mouth.

_I am so stupid. Wow, Eren, you are really an idiot. Wow._

"Uh- s-say ahhhhh?" He squeaked.

Though warily, Levi finally accepted the food. This time, Eren made sure to stare at the wall.

By the time a few forkfuls had passed, though, Eren's attention drifted. Luckily, it seemed Levi's attention had drifted too. This allowed Eren plenty of time to observe him.

 _I'm taking care of the corporal…_ he thought. _My corporal._ He tested out the possessiveness in his mind. _Mine. He's mine to take care of._ Eyes trailed down Levi's face, across his jaw, to the graceful curve of his neck. _All mine…_

"Eren."

"Huh-?"

_Oh crap. Oh-_

He'd gotten so close- Levi had inched backwards and his back was pressed against the headboard of his bed-

"Oh! I-I'm sorry-" He took another spoonful of food. "Here-"  
  
"Stop."  
  
"Levi, you've got to eat-"  
  
"I said _stop!_ " With the last word, his voice rose to a crescendo. His brows dropped sharply into angry diagonal lines, and Eren froze.  
  
An awkward silence.  
  
"I'm full." Levi said finally. His face reset itself and he looked away, out the window.  
  
Nodding, Eren set the tray aside. He cleared his throat.

"Um- it's sort of late. You should try to get some sleep."

"What time is it?"  
  
"I think it's after midnight, but I can't tell with the rain."

Levi looked back at him. "How long have you been awake?"  
  
"A while."  
  
"How long is a while?"

"I haven't slept yet."  
  
"Why?"

 _I've been watching you sleep and reading a book._ "I was reading a book."

"That's not a valid reason."

"Well- I had to wait for you to get up, didn't I? What if you woke up hungry?"

The two stared at each other. Eren could tell that there was something else.

Levi's eyes searched his face like spotlights, not understanding. "So what if I woke up hungry?" he said. "That doesn't affect you."

 _I don't want you to suffer!_ "I don't want you to suffer!" _Wait, did I just say that out loud-?_ He swallowed. "M-more than-" _Stop talking, Eren-_ "You already- have…"

He looked down a little, expecting an answer. However, when he looked up, Levi's gaze was levelled out the window again.

Eren stood up, admittedly a little disappointed, though relieved at the same time. "So- I think I'll put out all the candles now. If you need anything, I'll be in the other bed, okay? Just tell me if you need something."  
  
Levi didn't give any signs that he'd heard.

"Okay?" Eren repeated.

Levi's eyes flickered to his.  
  
"Okay."

Satisfied, Eren walked to the nearest candle, gently extinguishing it with a gust of his breath.

Once all the candles were out, he settled into his bed. He looked over at Levi's bed, where he could just barely make out his shape in the dark.

"Levi?"  
  
No answer.

"I'm sorry that I have to keep the chains on you, okay?" He said softly. "I just don't want you to get hurt." Nervously, he looked away. "I'm sorry."

"Hmph."

Eren's head turned. He hadn't expected an answer. Cautiously, he waited for more- but the room was silent, save for the rain.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Eren's clumsy apology echoed in his ears.

" _I just don't want you to get hurt. I'm sorry."_

_Tch. What's that supposed to mean?_

Levi curled under the covers.

It came to his attention that he was cold, freezing cold. Wind leaked through the ample cracks in the old inn, chilling the room.

 _If I just hadn't run away, this wouldn't be happening._ he lamented. _If I'd just stayed in my damn room and gone to sleep or something. I'm so stupid._

Now, more than anything, he wanted to get back to the base. It didn't matter how sick he was. How tired he felt. How he couldn't stop shivering, oh, it was so cold. He just needed to get back, to reset everything again, back to normal as if nothing had ever happened. There would be no questions asked, and everyone would assume he was fine. He would lock the feelings up nice and tight. Crush them until he'd be fine with being cold. Maybe he'd be fine with people dying, finally, like Erwin was.

Now he'd messed it all up, though. And he was stuck.

Stuck with Eren. Stupid Eren. He scoffed under his breath. Probably trying to be friends with him or something.  
  
 _I can't have "friends". That's a luxury that I can't have in war, something I let go of when I joined the scouting legion. I have people who rely on me. I have lives to save. I can't have friends._

_I wish Eren would keep his disgusting kindness to himself. It's sickening._

_Maybe he just wants me to heal faster so I'll kill more titans. Yes, that's probably it. He just wants revenge against the titans. He doesn't care about me, and everything's fine, and we can fight as we're meant to._

A twinge of bitterness at that thought. He clenched his teeth. _I'm pathetic._

There was no way he was sleeping, not with these thoughts and the freezing cold.

And it _was_ freezing cold. Levi gathered all the covers around him, pressing them tightly to him. Still cold, so cold.

His head turned on his pillow, to Eren's still form.

_I could ask him for another blanket…_

His mind drifted a little, and he imagined himself telling Eren. Eren would come over, awkward as always of course, but still graceful. He'd take another blanket and drape it over him, wrapping it as closely as he could. He would tuck the soft, smooth cloth under his chin, and with his warm hand he'd stroke Levi's cheek, and he'd- get really close, and- and say-

 _Stop._ He pleaded with himself. A raw hole opened in his chest. _Please, stop, I can't take it. I can't take it, it's too painful-_

The beautiful dream dissipated, and the cold was back immediately. Only now, he was also aching a little, and it really was freezing. It was freezing. Levi struggled to get warm again, pressing himself against the blankets, trying to curl up a little to conserve heat.

His chains clinked. He didn't pay attention, but-

"Levi?" Eren spoke into the dark.

Levi froze, swallowing. Pieces of his fantasy swirled over his head. They pushed him to answer. When he refused, they pushed harder, his whole body was freezing-

"What is it?"

"Oh! Well-" Eren seemed surprised that he'd answered. "It just sounds- like you're moving around a lot. Are you cold?"

"No." _Damn it._

"Oh. Okay."

Regret oozed into him. _Ask again._ His hands shivered. _Please, please ask again. I'll say yes this time, and then you'll take care of me-_

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine."

 _Damn it! Damn it-_ Levi's hands curled into his blankets, and he bit his lip angrily. _I can't- I just can't, it'll hurt and it's better to be cold like this-_ he could feel himself getting close to tears, and that made him furious. _I'm pathetic, let me be cold, just please let me be cold-_

Suddenly- a creaking noise. Levi froze. Was he going to-?  
  
But then, something unexpected. The mattress sagged. There was something heavy on his bed- no, someone-

Levi scrambled back. He realized that Eren had lit a candle, which he'd set on the table next to the bed. His arms were outstretched

Levi's arms dragged him to the edge of the bed, as far from Eren as he could get. "What do you think you're doing?" he hissed.

Eren didn't put his arms down. They were wide open, like a doorway. Levi knew that if he crawled to them they would close, locking him down into blissful warmth and maybe a hand gently stroking his back while another wound into his hair- oh no, he was really going to cry if he kept thinking about it, because it was a luxury that he couldn't ever have-

"I- I won't force you." Eren stammered. "But please, Levi- you want to be warm, don't you?"

_No. I don't want to do this. I don't want to regret this._

It would be so easy. All he had to do was crawl forward. Those arms would close like a trap.

And it was so cold, so very cold...

_Pathetic. I'm pathetic for even considering it. Never._

Yet one leg betrayed him, pushing him forward along the bed. Just a little bit.

"Come on." Eren whispered. He held still.

Levi held still, shivering and conflicted.

"Don't you want to be warm?" Eren repeated.

He hesitated. I _do. I want to be warm._

 _Hell._  
  
Forcing himself, quickly so he wouldn't regret it, he crawled over the sheets to Eren's arms. And then he looked up, unsure of what to do- but already, as he'd predicted, the arms came around him. Not fully, because for a moment Eren stopped as he leaned back to blow out the candle-

Levi held his breath in anticipation-

and then Eren's attention was turned back to him, arms closing strongly and surely around him. It was too late to escape, and Eren settled onto his side, pulling Levi tight against his whole body. Levi closed his eyes as Eren gathered him close, let himself be pulled. And it felt good. It felt so good. The warmth seeped into him as Eren pulled the covers over the both of them, and the sweet scent of Eren's skin flooded the small space. It felt amazing, better than he'd ever thought he could feel. He drank in the drowsy warmth.

"Wake me up if you need something." Eren said, closing his eyes.  
  
 _At least- he's not doing anything else._ The fantasy he'd had flashed through his head, followed by some reluctance. Because he sort of wished... oh, he was so ashamed.

As Eren's breathing slowed, Levi flushed a little. He was so close to Eren. He'd never really been this close to anyone, not ever. It was a new feeling.

 _More._ The guilt was blocked out by a pounding desire. _More. It's not enough. I want more of him._

He waited in silence, until he was sure Eren was fast asleep. His heart raced.

_Just a little bit more..._

His hands curled into Eren's shirt. He pressed his body snug against his. And then, steadying himself with a deep breath, he put his cheek against Eren's chest.

Finding that it was soft and comfortable, he burrowed against it. Squeezed closer. Something told him it was safe in Eren's arms. He nuzzled lightly into him, until he could get no closer. Then he settled. Bliss.

Until-

Eren's arms tightened, giving him a gentle squeeze.

 _He was awake._ His eyes opened wide. _He was awake this whole time, and he felt me-_

_What have I done-?_

Eren must have felt him stiffen in surprise, because all of a sudden his arm was moving. His hand crawled under the back of Levi's shirt, fingers trailing up the side of his spine. Then, be brought them down, gently grazing the skin of his back. His other hand snuck up to Levi's head, playing lightly with his hair in the dark.

It was unbelievable how good it felt. Impossible, even. He closed his eyes. _Oh…_ His breathing slowed. Eren's hands settled into steady movement.

And then, very softly, something that he didn't expect. Barely audible, Eren began to hum a lullaby.

It was a sad song, but it carried with it an undercurrent of hope. _Where did he get a song like that? Eren… there's so much I don't know about Eren..._ He let his thoughts run into each other and slow, as they melted to honey in the warm air around him.

One last thought occurred to him, before he fell to a peaceful sleep.

 _I've done something awful._ _But- how can it possibly be- that something that feels so good is so awful?_

_Why would something so bad... make me feel... like this..._


End file.
